What could we all benefit from (and it's not better English)?

Let's dive in straight away:

Do you know what the most significant predictor of quality of life is? 

Think for a moment before you scroll down.

…more than your nutrition,

 …more than your environment,

 …more than money.

According to research, it’s the quality of our relationships.

Now, what determines the quality of our relationships? Certainly more than just one thing.

Time spent together, shared experiences, attention, loving gestures… But what do they all have in common? What lies underneath?

I believe it’s communication — a word so overused it’s become a little vague. Yet without it, we couldn’t connect. 

We communicate constantly, even when we’re not speaking or gesturing.

Let’s dig a bit deeper — what sits at the heart of good (effective, kind, compassionate…) communication?

For me, it’s high-quality listening: listening for content with as little interpretation as possible, as little judgment as possible, and with genuine curiosity. 

And it goes further still. It’s about noticing what’s being communicated beyond the words.

Former FBI negotiator Chris Voss writes in Never Split the Difference that it often takes five skilled professionals just to listen on the line during high-stakes negotiations.

Sure, most of our daily interactions are nowhere near that intense reality — thankfully — but it illustrates just how crucial good listening is.

We all could benefit from listening better.

So, inspired by a recent Erasmus+ project, I chose three simple activities and let the students explore how well they can listen with more than just their ears — with more senses involved.

We experimented together:

• What happens when we listen with the whole body?

• What if we observe only body language?

• What if we close our eyes and consciously focus on the intonation, rhythm, emotions in the voice?

  
  

  

This 90-minute lesson was self-reflective and experiential. I didn’t want to give teenagers yet more theory — I wanted them to experience something and reflect on it afterwards.

And of course, we could go even deeper: What is the prerequisite of great listening skills?

What is the one thing without which we cannot truly listen or observe?

Leave me a comment. ☺